the confidence gap by Dr Russ Harris

Author:Dr Russ Harris
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
ISBN: 9781742531199
Publisher: Penguin Books Ltd
Published: 2010-07-16T16:00:00+00:00

Once you’ve identified an important skill to practise, the next step – you guessed it – is to do it mindfully. In other words, specifically turn this practice into an opportunity to develop defusion and engagement. If you’re stretching before a training session, do those stretches mindfully. If you’re rehearsing your answers for an interview, say them mindfully. If you’re doing a warm-up on your instrument, play those scales mindfully. There are at least three significant benefits from doing this.

The first big benefit is that mindfulness is the antidote to boredom. A common reason we give for not practising is that ‘It’s boring.’ However, if we are experiencing boredom, that means we have disengaged from what we are doing; instead we have fused with a story that the activity is dull or tedious, and there are other, far more interesting things that we could be doing.

But if we unhook ourselves from this story and engage fully in the activity, there is no boredom. Boredom and mindfulness can’t occur simultaneously: mindfulness involves paying attention to what is happening with openness and curiosity; boredom involves inattention to what is happening, and a lack of curiosity.

So to enhance your ability to engage, cultivate curiosity about what you are doing. Even if you’ve done it a million times before, no two sessions are ever identical; what can you notice that’s different, or that you’ve previously taken for granted?

The second big benefit is that whatever skill you practise, you will get much better results if you do it mindfully than if you go through the motions on autopilot. Remember, step 2 of the Confidence Cycle is applying skills effectively; this is not possible unless we pay attention to what we are doing. If we want to play tennis well, then we ‘spotlight’ the tennis ball. If we want to drive a car well, we ‘spotlight’ the road and the traffic. If we want to socialise well, we ‘spotlight’ the words and body language of the other person.

The third big benefit is that this approach paves the way for peak performance. If you want to perform at your best in any given role – in business, or as a parent, partner, athlete, performer, artist or lover – then you’ll not only need to have good skills, but the ability to remain focused on and engaged in what you’re doing.

So make a commitment now:

What essential skills will you start practising mindfully?

How much will you practise them: specify when, where and for how long?

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